Yes Cancer Sucks...
learn to deal with it!
Are you aware of what to do, or say, when you, a loved one, or a friend is
diagnosed with cancer?
How likely are you to get a cancer?
1 in 2
(in the UK)
According to research by Macmillan, 1 in 2 UK people born after 1960 will receive a cancer diagnosis. That means half of your family and friends are likely to suffer from a form of cancer. Think about that 1 in 2 number!
When you next sit and look at your loved one, here's a really, really hard question: Would you rather it was you or them?
If you need help, or want to help someone, then awareness is a valuable first step to get through a traumatic and life changing experience.
Awareness save lives. Maybe, just maybe, the next life you save is your own, or a loved one's...
Chances of being diagnosed with cancer in your lifetime based on where you live...
Source Cancer Rates by Country 2024
When it's
YOU
There is no standard reaction when your oncologist looks you in the eye and tells you that you have a cancer. A variety of emotions will hit you. In many cases the first emotion to hit will be shock, quickly followed by disbelief, sadness, anger, fear, panic, depression, embarrassment and shame. Another issue faced by many is "How the hell do I tell my family?"
Many will withdraw, avoid family and friends and many experience a deep loneliness because they struggle to verbalise something that is just too bloody hard to discuss.
All emotions are equally valid.
When it's
NOT
Even if you don't yet appreciate the severity of the situation, some really simple actions can make a world of difference to them. For example, drive them to the hospital, get their meds, shopping, etc., talk about last night’s big match, open a bottle of wine and just sit and gossip. Do anything that distracts their minds even for a short time. Give them a hug, give them a cuddle. Don’t underestimate the value of giving someone a good tight squeeze.
You don't need to understand the big or small issues of dealing with someone who has cancer, you just need to
let them know you are there for them!
Go make great memories...
Help yourself
Money isn't just for a bucket list. It doesn't have to cost a fortune to take your kids, or grandkids, to the beach, or the park, to have fun and eat ice-cream.
Help them
If you are supporting someone with cancer, then surprise them with a bottle of wine, fish-and-chips, cheese, etc. and enjoy just talking bullocks!
Brits are very big on being
Private, Sorry and Embarrassed
The Brits are often seen as reserved and unemotional. Your typical Brit will find it difficult (if not embarrassing) to openly discuss private matters. Certain topics, such as finances, relationships, sex, and health are considered taboo and are rarely discussed even with the closest of family and friends. When touchy subjects need to be discussed, the conversation typically opens with an apology of sorts "I hope you don't mind, but can I ask...".
Brits can be sorry on an hourly basis. Sorry for the weather, sorry for bumping into you, sorry for my kid's behaviour, the list goes on and on. When eating out, Brits will complain to each other about how bad the food is, but when asked by the server "How is everything?" they are too embarrassed to complain and will simply say "It's all fine thank you".
Learning how to open up and have hard uncomfortable conversations is a hurdle that all those with cancer must learn to get past. There are many wonderful counselling services available to help, but here again the Brit mentality will find it embarrassing to firstly acknowledge that counselling is required, and secondly to admit that a counsellor has been engaged. To many, the need for counselling is seen both as a weakness and embarrassing.
When the topic is cancer, stuff like being private, sorry and embarrassed can result in delayed diagnosis, which can mean the difference between catching cancer at stage 1 or 2, rather than at stage 3 or 4. Honestly, you really don't want to discover you have cancer when its at stage 4.
Americans can be more direct...
Both Americans and Brits have their own ways of showing embarassment , dissatisfaction, etc. Americans might be more direct and vocal about their complaints, while Brits often use humor and understatement to convey their grievances. It's all about cultural differences in communication styles. Generally, Brits are often seen as more reserved and understated in their social interactions compared to Americans, who tend to be more open and expressive. However, this is a broad generalization and individual personalities can vary widely within any culture. It's all about the context and the person you're interacting with.
Being private, sorry and embarrassed can get you killed!
Get over it and go get a longer life.
Pessimists vs. Optimists
Pessimists will scream:
I am going to die
My life will be very difficult.
I'm going to lose all my hair.
These drugs will make me sick.
My family won't cope.
I will never see England win silverware.
Shove your counselling.
Optimists will admit:
I am going to live
My life will be very different.
I don't need to pay for hair stylists.
These drugs will make me better.
My family will learn to cope.
England will win the next world cup.
I'll try counselling.
Cancer is a bully...
Cancer is a bully! It relentlessly invades the body, causing pain and suffering. It disrupts lives without warning and shows no mercy, affecting not just the you but your loved ones as well. Like a bully, cancer exploits weaknesses and often attacks when least expected, leaving devastation in its wake.
So, what makes cancer a bully?
Cancer is uncontrolled cell growth and division! Over your lifetime, your cells are programmed (via your DNA) to grow, divide and (ultimately) die as necessary. Cancer starts when something goes wrong with this normal cell life cycle and instead of dying these now abnormal cells ignore the rules and they keep growing and keep dividing. They end up pushing-out (bullying) normal cells making them unable to do what they are programmed to do.
However, with courage, medical advancements, and support networks, many are fighting back, proving that even bullies can be beaten.
Normal Cells
- Have a regular shape and size.
- Live, grow and act according to DNA programming.
- Stay together in their assigned areas.
- Communicate with and live in harmony with other cells.
- Are mortal and die when it's time.
Abnormal Cells
- Are bigger and irregular in size and shape.
- Ignore their DNA programming rules.
- Travel outside their assigned areas.
- Ignore messages from others cells and crowd them out of their space.
- Are immortal.
Be aware of cancer stages mean to health...
Stage 1
A cell becomes cancerous when it ignores its DNA rules. It grows, becomes abnormal, and becomes a bully.
Stage 2
The abnormal cell replicates over and over, and becomes a tumour. The tumour crowds out normal cells.
Stage 3
The tumour continues to grow and expand. It reaches your lymph nodes. A superhighway to other organs!
Stage 4
The cancer spreads to, and infects, other parts of your body. This primary cancer has now become a secondary cancer.
Primary and Secondary Cancer
Primary cancer refers to the location of original cancer. Breast cancer is cancer that starts in the breast, bowel cancer starts in the bowel, and so on. When a cancer spreads to other parts of the body it does not become a new cancer. So, if your bowel cancer spreads to your liver, it does not become liver cancer. It is still bowel cancer.
Secondary cancer is the same type of cancer as the original (primary) cancer - it has migrated to other parts of the body. The medical term used for this is metastasized.
Stage 4 Survival Rates
Stage 4 cancer, also known as metastatic cancer, is the most advanced stage. It means the cancer has spread from its original site to other parts of the body. This stage is often difficult to treat and focuses on managing symptoms and improving quality of life rather than a cure. Despite its challenges, some patients with stage 4 cancer can live for years with appropriate treatment and care.
Get tested early and often. Don't find excuses to avoid being tested. The survival rates for stage 4 cancers are NOT favourable.
When cancer can be so cruel, why not be kind for no reason?
This is how to celebrate when you
kick cancers arse...
Ultimate relief when you peel off all those layers of anguish, fear and doubt...
Cause you make me feel so good, so good, so good...
So fine, so fine
It's all mine, well I feel all right
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
This page is dedicated my very good friend Philip Head [1950 - 2024]
One of the bravest men I have met. I wish I had known him longer.