Cancer numbers in the UK are staggering and increasing annually...
Every year, some 454,954 people are diagnosed with cancer.
That's an average diagnosis every 90 seconds
Every year some 181,807 people die from cancer.
That's an average of around 500 deaths every day.
Are you aware of what to do, or say, when you, a loved one, or a friend is diagnosed with cancer?
1 in 2
According to research by Macmillan, 1 in 2 people born in the UK after 1960 will receive a cancer diagnosis. That means half of your family and friends are likely to suffer from a form of cancer. Think about that 1 in 2 number!
When you next sit and look at your loved one, here's a really, really hard question:
Would you rather it was you or 'them'?
If you need help, or want to help someone, then awareness is a valuable first step to get through a traumatic and life changing experience. Awareness helps save lives. Maybe, just fucking maybe, the next life you help save is your own, or a loved ones...
Cancer doesn't discriminate...
When it's
YOU
There is no standard reaction when your oncologist looks you in the eye and tells you that you have a cancer. A variety of emotions will hit you. In many cases the first emotion to hit will be shock, quickly followed by disbelief, sadness, anger, fear, panic, depression, embarrassment and shame. Another issue faced by many is "How the hell do I tell my family?"
Many will withdraw, avoid family and friends and many experience a deep loneliness because they struggle to verbalise something that is just too bloody hard to discuss.
All emotions are equally valid.
When it's
NOT
Even if you don't yet appreciate the severity of the situation, some really simple actions can make a world of difference to them.
For example, drive them to the hospital, get their meds, shopping, etc., talk about last night’s big match, open a bottle of wine and just sit and gossip. Do anything that distracts their minds even for a short time.
Give them a hug, give them a cuddle. Don’t underestimate the value of giving someone a good tight squeeze.
You don't need to understand the big or small issues of dealing with someone who has cancer, you just need to
let them know you are there for them!
Go make great memories...
Help yourself
Money isn't just for a bucket list. It doesn't have to cost a fortune to take your kids, or grandkids, to the beach, or the park, to have fun and eat ice-cream.
Help them
If you are supporting someone with cancer, then surprise them with a bottle of wine, fish-and-chips, cheese, etc. and enjoy just talking bullocks!
Brits are very big on being
Private, Sorry and Embarrassed
The Brits are often seen as reserved and unemotional. Your typical Brit will find it difficult (if not embarrassing) to openly discuss private matters. Certain topics, such as finances, relationships, sex, and health are considered taboo and are rarely discussed even with the closest of family and friends. When touchy subjects need to be discussed, the conversation typically opens with an apology of sorts "I hope you don't mind, but can I ask...".
Brits can be sorry on an hourly basis. Sorry for the weather, sorry for bumping into you, sorry for my kid's behaviour, the list goes on and on. When eating out, Brits will complain to each other about how bad the food is, but when asked by the server "How is everything?" they are too embarrassed to complain and will simply say "It's all fine thank you".
Learning how to open up and have hard uncomfortable conversations is a hurdle that all those with cancer must learn to get past. There are many wonderful counselling services available to help, but here again the Brit mentality will find it embarrassing to firstly acknowledge that counselling is required, and secondly to admit that a counsellor has been engaged. To many, the need for counselling is seen both as a weakness and embarrassing.
When the topic is cancer, stuff like being private, sorry and embarrassed can result in delayed diagnosis, which can mean the difference between catching cancer at stage 1 or 2, rather than at stage 3 or 4. Honestly, you really don't want to discover you have cancer when its at stage 4.
Ultimately, being private, sorry and embarrassed can get you killed!
Get over being embarrassed, go get a longer life.
Emails don't get embarrassed...
These days, most GP surgeries will not only offer the option to make appointments via the telephone, but also via email. If you struggle, or are uncomfortable, with talking with someone on the phone, then consider describing your problem in an email.
Emails don't pass judgement, they don't ask embarrassing questions. They offer you the opportunity to express yourself without embarrassment.
Pessimists vs. Optimists
Pessimists will scream:
I am going to die
My life will be very difficult.
I'm going to lose all my hair.
These drugs will make me sick.
My family won't cope.
I will never see England win silverware.
Shove your counselling.
Optimists will admit:
I am going to live
My life will be very different.
I don't need to pay for hair stylists.
These drugs will make me better.
My family will learn to cope.
England will win the next world cup.
I'll try counselling.
When cancer can be so cruel, why not be kind for no reason?
This is how to celebrate when you
kick cancers arse...
Ultimate relief when you peel off all those layers of anguish, fear and doubt.
Cause you make me feel so good, so good, so good...
So fine, so fine
It's all mine, well I feel all right
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
This page is dedicated my very good friend Philip Head [1950 - 2024]
One of the bravest men I have met. I wish I had known him longer.