Depression can kill...

One in four people who have, or had, cancer will experience depression. 

When you brain is about to explode...

When faced with what it really means to be told you have cancer, many experience a whole range of emotions from shock, anger, anxiety, distress, depression, loneliness, and more. 

For many, these feelings are not serial (one feeling doesn't always follow another). Many suffer multiple feelings at the same time. These feelings are common, both during and after cancer treatment. At times your brain may be so overloaded with negativity that it feels like its on fire and will explode. 

It's important to recognize these feelings and get help if you need it. Sometimes, this is harder than you think!

How do you want your kids
and grandkids to remember you?

You can swear, get angry, get depressed, have suicidal thoughts, look to release your anger in ways that make you feel good now, but you know you will regret those shitty thoughts and actions  later... 

Here's a thought that may help you focus on outcomes!

How do you want your kids and grandkids to remember you?

  • Eating ice cream at the park, or at the beach?
  • Sitting on your hospital bed asking what all those tubes coming out of your body do?

Think about how your actions affect your loved one's memories of you!

"I just don't bloody care" 
is a sure sign of depression...

Depression can lead to suicidal thoughts and it's important to realise that it's not just those with advanced cancer, or those who have pain management issue who have these thoughts. One way to determine if you are depressed or not, is to consider any every-day scenario, e.g.:

  • the grass needs cutting
  • that wall could do with a fresh lick of paint
  • the windows need a clean

If your attitude to these every day life activities, such as those above, is, "I just don't bloody care!" then its time to get psychological help. The sites below provide useful information and are worth a visit. There are no promises that a good psychologist will cut your grass, paint your walls, or clean your windows. However, they can help you understand your depression and may even come up with ways to help climb out of the depths of being in a bad place.

Try these if you need help to understand and overcome depression:

Excuses are also a sign of depression...

When you don't want to do something, finding a reason not to, is real easy. There will be times when those around you will not understand your thinking and this may lead to conflict. Far be it from me to pass judgement. You have to live inside your head, but if you are continually making excuses then perhaps, it's time to seek professional help.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

Finding suicide rates of those with cancer is hard.  Suicide rates among cancer patients are generally thought to be twice as high as that of the general population.  In the US, a study found the suicide risk amongst cancer patients was 26% higher when compared with the general population. 

Here's a quick and easy check to determine how suicidal you are: check your browser-history and if you find you visit more funeral sites than shopping, or porn sites, then perhaps it's time to talk to someone.

If you have even the remotest thoughts about suicide, then consider what Sir Billy Conolly said:

"There are thousands of people in the local graveyard that would love to have your problem!".

Don't underestimate the
power of a scream or the power of a boogie!

There are going to be occasions when your anger, sorrow, frustration, etc., is going to hurt you mentally in more ways than you can imagine. Logic just doesn't matter and there will times when you just need to to find a wide open space, take a deep breath and scream long and loud until you burst your lungs. 

Another way of releasing tension is to gather some of your favourite upbeat and dance soundtracks on whatever your sound device is and find a wide open space and just dance and sing your socks off. Take a portable speaker to an open space with a few beers, wine, whatever, and with friends have a party in the park. 

Screaming and dancing will release serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin which help promote happiness and pleasure while reducing depression and anxiety.

Key Takeaways

When trying to help someone:

  • Don't (repeatedly) tell them to fight-it and stay strong.
  • Don't offer medical advice.
  • Sit and be with them even if they don't want to talk.
  • It is their cancer, respect how they want (it) to be treated.
  • Allow them to be negative and express their feelings in whatever way they want.
  • Do NOT remind them of any negative behaviours that may have led to their cancer.

When trying to help yourself:

  • If you can, try talking to you best friend, you don't have to say much.
  • It's OK to cry, scream, etc. don't surpress these kind of feelings.
  • If you can, go exercise and release those 'happy hormones'.
  • Try to identify if there's a pattern, or trigger, that kicks off you depression.
  • Go help others (with cancer) or people who just need small jobs done.
  • Research has shown that psychotherapy is an effective treatment for depression in the majority of cases, so at least give it a try.